Working Out Woes

Anyone who knows me personally knows that in the past three years I’ve lost almost 70 pounds. If you need a visual, just imagine Veruca Salt (during her blueberry phase, obviously) shrinking down to the size of about Crystal Renn. Or, for a probably more 

accurate representation, I went from a size 20 to size 10.

True story.

And I did it the old fashioned way of diet and exercise. Which people still seem to be baffled about. “WHAT!? Diet and exercise, surely you must be joking!” Hm, nope. I woke up one day and realized my fat ass needed less mac and cheese and more fruits and less sitting on the couch and more physical activity. I kicked started this whole 70 pounds adventure by 

walking.

Walking.

And not even fast walking or on an incline. Not even for very prolonged periods of time either. Being a fat-ass makes you tire easily, you have to ease into heavy physical activity.

  

Yeah, that and I really am more inclined to be lazy. But I’ve managed to lose a great deal of weight and maintain for over three years, so score one for me. However, it’s hard work and I want to whine about it.

I guess I should have prefaced my whole “diet” by saying I’m not actually “dieting” in the way of MUST EAT NONE OF THE CARBS bullshit most people fall prey to. Screw that, pasta and bread is delicious and damned if any fad diet is going to tell me I can’t enjoy a delicious bowl of pasta or toast with my eggs.

I eat whatever I want, the only thing I do differently is actually follow serving sizes. But I’m still caught in a constant struggle between wanting to eat an entire bag of potato chips and not going back to the way I looked.

Also, I have a horrible relationship with vegetables.

Yeah, something like this.

It’s just easier and more delicious to eat poorly than it is to eat healthier. And it’s hard to limit yourself of those poorer choices. I mean, really, 15 potato chips is not satisfying when the whole bag is calling your name from the pantry. Limiting yourself to one scoop of ice cream is not as enjoyable as a double scoop in a waffle cone.

And two tablespoons of Nutella never left anyone fulfilled.

All the bad food is just so delicious and that’s a cruel trick of nature. I don’t know of anyone who craves spinach over butter pecan ice cream. 

 

More appetizing than a spinach salad.

Moral of the story: eating right blow chunks.

But eating right is only half the battle. Exercising is the second part of the weight loss equation and finding the motivation to work out can be challenging. There are days I’d rather bake muffins in hell than put on yoga pants and go work out.

For one, I had hate being sweaty. Two, I’m not a big fan of gyms. It’s probably my paranoia kicking in, but I feel people at the gym can be judgmental. And I don’t need the salon-ready fit chick staring at me while I look like I just crawled out of a swamp.

That and I feel really lame that I can only bench press about 40 pounds.

Also, there’s not one exercise I love doing. After about five minutes, I get extremely bored. While it’s true that exercise can be addicting—I’ve felt it before—I still don’t jump out of bed every morning going, “YES, EXERCISE TODAY.”

I tried the running thing and well…

Yeah, that about sums it up.

At times, I struggle to work out. At times, I struggle to eat right. Yes, I lost 70 pounds and I’m extremely proud of that fact, but it wasn’t fun or glamorous, and I definitely did not enjoy most of it. There are times I feel I’m missing out on life because I’m conscious of what I shove in my mouth and restrict myself from eating horribly.

I also may not look like I want to yet, but in the words of Joey Tribiani…